Origins
by Cats070911
Summary: When Tommy buys a new tool he passes the old one on to Barbara who uses it for something he never expected. At first Tommy feels threatened until he realises it is something Barbara must do before she can consider a life with him.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** all usual disclaimers apply.

Please do not expect daily updates as I am very busy at the moment.

* * *

Barbara yawned and stretched against the soft leather of the passenger seat that over the years had contoured to her shape. She snuggled back then glanced over at her boss. DCI Tommy Lynley looked tired but relieved. His hunch had been right about the murderer being the baker's wife but Barbara had been the one to work out how she managed to stab him so brutally, dispose of the weapon and the blood-splattered clothing and attend the school play that initially gave her an alibi. She had simply pushed the skewer into a loaf of bread then retrieved it after it was baked in the wood-fired oven. The apron had burnt away with the wood except for one small patch of leather label.

"Penny for them," Tommy said. She smiled. He had not even looked at her but seemed to sense she was deep in thought.

"We make a good team."

He turned and stared at her. "You make it sound as if that's a new revelation. I thought we knew that after our first case together."

"Well, yeah, but...well we do."

"Yes, we do. My promotion changes nothing Barbara. As DCI I just get a bigger squad. I'm still going to partner with you as long as you'll let me but you should consider Hillier's offer, it's more money."

"The money would be good but no, I'm not ready."

"You could stay in my squad. We'd still be working together."

"But not like this!"

"No, not like this." Tommy's smile was full of memories and fear. "I was going to suggest a pint but you look tired Sergeant Havers." The emphasis on her rank was his way of telling her Inspector would sound much better.

"Tired? Since when am I ever too tired for a pint after a challenging case?" she answered with a grin.

Tommy glanced at the clock on the dash. "Damn!"

"What?"

"I had hoped to pick up my new computer this evening. It will have to wait."

"We don't have to have that pint Sir. Will you have time to get it if we go straight there?"

"You don't mind?"

"Nah, course not. We can pick it up then you can drop me home and then play with your new toy."

"It's a tool, not a toy, Barbara. What if we pick it up, drop it at my place, then go to the pub?"

"Deal."

Ninety minutes later Barbara was helping Tommy pull the monitor box from his car but it had become wedged against the door. She swore as her hand got caught between it and the old-fashion metal door handle. "This thing's the size of a coffin! Do you really need such a big one?"

"Most women tell us size doesn't matter but I think bigger is better don't you?"

Barbara stared at him then felt her neck flush. "I wouldn't know Sir, I've never had one this big."

She watched as Tommy grinned cheekily at her. "Well if you help me pull it free we can take it inside and you can have a good look. You might like what you see."

Barbara smiled back. Lately their banter had taken on an edge she found disturbing. Too many innuendos but never any attempt to act on it. "No point looking, it still wouldn't be mine to use though would it?"

Tommy was standing next to her trying to free the box. All he had to do was take half a step forward and he could take her in his arms and kiss her. He had been trying to find the courage to do it for weeks but he worried his attentions would be unwanted and it would ruin everything. Now her eyes had darkened with a hint of lust. He took his half step and the monitor started to move.

"Quick," Barbara yelled and Tommy had just enough time to catch the box.

"Bloody thing!" The moment had been lost and now she was smirking at him. "I've got this. Can you lock the car and bring the laptop box?"

Tommy waited at the door while Barbara used his keys to unlock it. She had not hesitated to choose the correct key. She had keen powers of observation but she had also seen him unlock it a hundred times. Since the Thompson case they had been close. She often ate with him or stayed late into the night after they had spread photos over his study and debated the facts of a case on the whiteboard he had installed so that they did not have to remain at the office. He had no excuse to invite her but he wished there was a way of convincing her to stay all night but he had promised to take her to the pub. He put the large box on the floor of his study. "Still fancy that drink?"

She nodded but did not take her eyes from the box. "Beer if you've got any."

He preferred whiskey but Tommy always had beer in his fridge just in case Barbara came over. "One beer coming right up," he said with far more enthusiasm than he had intended.

He returned quickly with two cans. He passed one to her then clunked his can against hers. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Helping me." He gave her a wicked grin then added, "still want to see how big it is?"

Barbara could not help but smile. It was a silly, stale joke but she was secretly pleased he was comfortable enough with her to continue the innuendo. When he had stepped forward at the car she had thought for a split second he was about to kiss her. It had shocked her and thrilled her in equal measure until the gods intervened and the box almost fell. She had quickly put her foolish notion back into its place. "Of course."

"It has a big curve in it. They say it's a more effective angle." Barbara coughed as she choked on her beer. Tommy was instantly contrite, but amused that his schoolboy humour had not been lost on her. "I'm sorry, I was just being silly."

"Me too," she spluttered. Her smile was mischievous and made him wonder if perhaps her feelings for him had also drifted into the complex mix of emotions he had experienced over the last few months. He hesitated too long and she moved away.

When Tommy made no attempt to kiss her Barbara shook her head, as much to clear her thoughts as her throat. She bent down and began to pick at the edge of the packing tape sealing the box. "Come on, let's see this big, bendy tool of yours."

An hour later the new monitor and laptop sat proudly on his antique mahogany desk. The monitor was almost three feet long and curved around him as he sat and connected the old computer to enable him to transfer files. Barbara stood beside him as he sat at the desk. She watched the joy on his face. He was like a little boy as he excitedly explained all the features of the screen and dragged several open windows into place so he could check his email, interrogate the internet, read a novel and listen to music through the inbuilt speakers simultaneously. "Isn't it wonderful?"

She smiled at him and was tempted to lovingly ruffle his hair. "Yeah, great Sir. I bet you can play lots of games too."

"Games? No, I use it mostly for managing the estate accounts. I was finding I needed to compare a lot of documents. This will make it easier. I should wipe the old computer and dispose of it."

Barbara pricked up her ears. "How much do you want for it?"

"Nothing. I'll give it to charity."

"Oh."

"Ah, do you want it?"

"I'll pay."

"No you won't. I'd be happy to give it to you."

Barbara looked at her feet. "My old netbook died. The screen went all funny and your old laptop is far newer."

"I'd rather it goes somewhere it's wanted. I can wipe the hard drive then we can pack it up and take it over to your place in the morning. Want another beer?"

It was almost midnight by the time they had transferred files, wiped the old data and selected the software Barbara wanted to keep. Tommy proudly showed off what his new computer could do. He had pulled the piano stool over so they could squeeze next to each other in front of the screen. Barbara even persuaded him to download a crime solving game and they spent another hour racing through the level one and two cases. Barbara yawned then glanced at her watch. "Good job we're not on duty tomorrow. I should call a cab."

"No!" he replied too sternly. He softened his tone, "I thought you were staying so we can take this over tomorrow."

"I don't want to put you to any trouble, Sir."

"You're not. The bed is made up." Tommy put his arm around her shoulder. "I want you to stay Barbara."

"If you're sure." For a moment she allowed herself the indulgence of leaning against him and enjoying their proximity. She then straightened and his arm dropped away. "It's the neighbour I'm sure."

Tommy had trouble not smiling too broadly. He did not want her to feel staying over was momentous, he wanted her to feel relaxed and casual about it. "Do you want to pay for a clue or should we work through it again?"

"Work through, we're smarter than some game writer when it comes to crime."

Tommy fetched the last beer from his fridge and poured himself a large scotch before settling back next to his sergeant who was staring at the screen and jotting notes on the onscreen scratchpad. He had not expected to spend the evening playing computer games but he was enjoying it far more than he would admit. Barbara had a way of calming his demons and making him feel safe and wanted. He had thought a lot lately about what it would be like to have her live with him but he was not sure he could cope with her untidiness. "I could hire a maid."

Barbara turned and gave him a quizzical look. "Sir? There's no maid in the case."

"Sorry. Just thinking out loud about here."

She looked around. "You do a better job than me. Now do you think the neighbour's alibi is weak?"

"Yes, very." It seemed the oddest of times to him but in that moment he knew without doubt he had lost his heart to her. He had suspected for months that it was heading that way but tonight he knew there could never be anyone else for him. He put his arm around her shoulder and leant into her. "Barbara, let's go to bed," he whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks later Tommy watched Barbara pack up her desk ready to leave for the evening. Once again she had rejected his invitation to dinner. For one night they had been so close that he had dared to hope she loved him as strongly as he adored her and now, for no reason he could fathom, she was drifting steadily away from him. He ran his hand slowly through his hair, pushing it back from his face. It was a gesture she had repeated throughout that night and the memory stabbed him.

His eyebrows arched curiously when she pulled his old laptop bag from under her desk. "Night Sir," she said happily as she gave him a generous, fond smile, "gotta run. See you tomorrow."

"Good night Barbara." Tommy tried to sound cheerful. He was determined not to let her see him morose. As he watched her bustle away, her coat snagging momentarily on the door handle, he smiled briefly at her clumsiness then frowned.

"Sir? Everything aw'right?"

"What? Oh, sorry Winston. Yes, fine. Do you know where Havers is going?"

"Nah, just that she wanted to get away on time. Hot date maybe."

Tommy felt his anger stirring at the thought. "She had her laptop with her so I doubt that," he snapped.

"Computer dating?" Winston suggested, oblivious to his boss's growing anger. "She brings it in twice a week. Maybe she joined some sort of gaming group or a nerd group."

He began to regret buying his new computer. "A nerd group?"

"Yeah, people who do things with computers instead of interacting normally. She's shy like that, it might be a way to make new friends."

Tommy was becoming more uncomfortable. He did not want her making new friends. He wanted her back with him, having a drink and then a romantic dinner followed by a night cuddled in his arms. He sighed heavily. "Thank you, Winston. Good night."

"Good night, Sir."

Winston was now looking at him sympathetically. Tommy had revealed his feelings and it annoyed him. "And make sure you finish that report first thing so you can go out with Havers and interview the woman across the street. I don't know how someone with your experience missed her the first time!" Winston's face fell and he muttered an apology before escaping.

Lynley took a deep breath and returned to his office. He had taken out his anger on poor Winston which was not fair. He would apologise in the morning. He felt far too much like a drink so he sat at his desk to delay the inevitable. He had been imbibing far too heavily in recent weeks, even he recognised that fact.

He brought up the report into the baker's murder but sat staring blankly at his screen as he twisted his pen repeated through his fingers. He could not really concentrate on anything but Barbara. His mind had barely been off her since that wonderful night at his house. He had not really known what he expected when he had whispered in her ear that they should go to bed. She had smiled so lovingly at him that his heart literally skipped several beats. As he led her upstairs he was determined that it had to be her choice. He was not going to press her into anything she might regret. There was no need to rush anything; they had the rest of their lives. He had pointed out the spare room as an option but to his joy, she had elected to stay with him.

Tommy closed his eyes and remembered every word spoken and every gentle touch. He had bared his soul to her that night and she had listened without judgement. She had told him things about her family and her feelings that she had never before admitted aloud. Together, in each other, they had found solace and acceptance. Her absence now was a physical pain gnawing deep inside him. He needed her, and he could not understand how she could so callously ignore the fact that he was in love with her.

They had slept through the next morning, still in each other's arms, then in the afternoon he had helped Barbara set up his old computer in her flat. After that everything had changed, or rather it had not changed the way he had hoped. She had waved goodbye with a generous, adoring smile then the next day back at work she acted as if everything was the relationship reverted to their old style of friendship. Even the sexually-charged banter had gone. She was still treating him with her unique mix of caring disrespect but Barbara no longer seemed interested in dining with him and always seemed anxious to get away when they went for a drink after work. Even if she told him she was not interested they could, at least, discuss it but treating it as if nothing had ever happened was beyond cruel. He felt used.

He sat and stewed for another hour before he remembered his old laptop was still linked to a tracking app on his phone. If she was logged into a Wi-Fi hotspot or internet connection, it would silently ping her computer and give him its approximate location. He debated for several minutes the ethics of spying on his partner. He knew it was an unnecessary and unwarranted invasion of her privacy but his possessiveness and jealousy won out and he guiltily pushed the trace button on the app.

It took about two minutes before the answer appeared. Barbara was near the Clerkenwell Animal Hospital. That made no sense to Tommy at all. He waited fifteen minutes then pinged again. This time, it pinpointed the corner of Goswell and Clerkenwell Roads on the tiny map. Tommy brought up a bigger map on his computer. It was near the veterinary hospital but the only thing he could see there was a coffee shop. The knowledge did nothing to calm his restless mood. How could she have someone else? He paced up and down his office then did the only thing he could do. He drove home and finished off the bottle of Balvenie he had started the night before.

* * *

The next day when he picked her up at her flat, Barbara noticed Tommy was moody and slightly hungover. She had learnt to read the signs over the years. He had been very good the last few months but the last three weeks, since the night she had stayed at his house, he had been out of sorts. It was a shame because she had enjoyed the evening and the night that followed. She had secretly hoped they might be able to repeat it some time, but she feared Tommy had realised she was growing too fond of him. She was long practised at pretending she did not love him so it had been easy to step back and give him some space before he made a foolish mistake.

"How was your evening?" he asked. The question dripped with bitter sarcasm which she ignored.

"Yeah, good. Quite productive really. What about yours?"

"I drank."

"I can tell that. Want to talk about it?"

"No." There was a minute of deadly silence. Tommy had to ask. "Productive, in what way exactly?"

Barbara did not miss the edge to his voice. Something was troubling him and she could tell she was at the heart of it. If only he would tell her what was going on in his head! "I achieved a lot."

"Well good for you."

Barbara grunted and bit her tongue. There was no point arguing with him. She would only say things she would later regret. She had already revealed far more than she had intended that night when she had been safely cocooned in his arms. Her face flushed crimson as she remembered how warm and secure it had been and how she had surrendered, just for a night, to feeling loved.

She looked across at Tommy. His knuckles were white as he strangled his steering wheel. Barbara wanted to reach over and stroke them or put a reassuring hand on his thigh, anything to let him know she saw his pain. It was impossible to explain to someone like Tommy why she retreated but it was to protect him. He would forget soon enough when he found another leggy brunette to chase after.

The following day Tommy was at the office early and as he suspected Barbara had her laptop with her when she arrived. He found an excuse to spend the day in his office where he could ignore her. Just the sight of her made him angry.

When Barbara left the office ten minutes after her boss she did not notice him standing in the shadows of the grand hotel foyer on the corner. She hurried along to the Tube and into the drab grey triple doors of the station. She held the handrail of the escalator as it descended to the platform. She had a vaguely uneasy feeling as she stood on the charcoal coloured tiles waiting for the train. She looked around but nothing seemed amiss. When the blast of air across the platform signalled the train's approach she stepped up to the row of yellow bumps that acted as a final reminder of the gap. A quick glimpse of movement caught her eye but when she turned no one was there. She would almost have sworn Tommy was nearby. She shook her head then found a seat just inside the door. She settled in, unaware Tommy had slipped quietly into the carriage behind her.

The Circle Line train took her straight to Barbican. Tommy cursed inwardly when Barbara alighted at one of the only Tube stations open to the air. He felt more exposed and visible as he stepped from the train carriage just before the doors closed. He prayed she would not turn around. He followed at a very discreet distance, almost losing sight of her twice. She wound her way out of the station and walked purposefully, heading north along Goswell Road. The public street was relatively quiet and provided little cover. Tommy knew with one glance behind, Barbara would spot him. Blood pounded guiltily in his temples and he loosened his collar under his jumper.

He lingered in the doorway of a hotel as he watched Barbara check her watch then hurry towards the Charterhouse Buildings. He trailed about one hundred yards behind her and saw her turn left then enter one of the buildings. He waited five minutes to be sure she did not re-emerge then walked up the little road that was not much more than an alleyway. Framed by the maroon trimmed picture windows she was sitting in a group watching a display. Tommy's eye was drawn to the sign above the door, "Society of Genealogists". A sandwich board by the door read 'Genealogy for Beginners, Eight Sessions, Tuesdays and Thursdays 7 - 10 pm'. His offer of love had been passed over for a Family History course!


	3. Chapter 3

Barbara almost missed her stop. She had been so busy daydreaming that she had lost sense of space and time. Instead she was back in Tommy's house. The heat of his breath tickled her ear as he whispered into her heart. It had not been an order, a question or a statement, simply the verbalisation of what they had both wanted. He had held her hand as he led her upstairs then gallantly offered her a choice of beds. She had seen the trepidation in his eyes that she might not stay with him but it had not been a difficult choice.

She had expected him to kiss her then make love to her. She had wanted that but Tommy made no attempt to touch her, even when they were behind his closed bedroom door. He had rummaged in his dresser then tossed her a tee-shirt and suggested she change in the ensuite. She had been confused and a little hurt but she had complied. His bathroom, with its cream marble walls, gold taps and large bath was a world away from her poky little one which had barely enough room for her shower. She sighed and stripped off her clothes. She was not sure whether he expected her to leave her underwear on or not. _What was the protocol for sharing a bed with a man?_ And a lord of the realm at that, who had bedded more women than Barbara cared to think about. She decided to be comfortable; so bra off, knickers on.

When she returned Tommy was lying in bed. His chest was bare and she wondered if below the sheets he was naked. _What the hell do I do now?_ He must have seen her uncertainty because he lifted back the sheets and patted the bed beside him. His smile was caring and instantly eased her fear. He had blue striped sleep pants on. It was not the style she expected he would wear and she grinned broadly, thinking he looked like Aladdin. The bed was his cave and perhaps she was his treasure.

"You getting off Miss or just blocking the door?" The bus driver was becoming aggressive.

"Sorry, I was...thinking about something else."

"Well my schedule doesn't allow for your daydreaming! Now either get off or sit down."

Barbara stepped onto the kerb muttering a curse under her breath. She stomped along the road to her flat unsure whether she was angry at the driver, Tommy or herself. She took a quick shower then climbed into bed. The nights were much lonelier now with the fresh memory of a loving embrace. She sighed then pulled out the laptop and logged in. Tonight she had learnt about the information on death records and she wanted to see if her great grandfather's details were available.

* * *

Despite his best attempt Tommy could not get drunk enough to block out his raging, contradictory emotions. He was relieved Barbara did not have another man but he was perplexed that she had not told him about her course. Did she think he would disapprove? Or did she not trust him enough to confide in him? The more he dwelt on it the more livid he became about her ancestors taking precedence over a very tangible, live relationship.

The moment Barbara had accepted his invitation to share his bed Tommy had vowed to cherish her and protect her. When she had come from the bathroom dressed in one of his old tee-shirts she had looked so adorable that his vow waivered as his eyes scanned her naked legs. He wanted to run his hands over her body and make love to her, very, very slowly. An unmistakable flicker of yearning was in her eyes when she surveyed his naked chest but there was also a deep apprehension and vulnerability. When they made love Tommy did not want fear or any other negative thoughts to hold her back. He wanted her to share her body and her desires freely. He gave her his most affectionate smile then lifted the sheet and invited her to join him.

He dimmed the bedside light to almost nothing then pulled her gently against his chest. One arm was under her neck and his hand lightly caressed her back while his other hand dared to rest on her hip, his fingers extending suggestively over her buttock. Slowly her rigidity softened and her face nuzzled into his chest while her arm crept over his waist. "Comfy?"

She had nodded, her chin tickling his chest in the most delightfully erotic way. He inhaled slowly then began to talk. He had intended it to be a prelude to their first kiss but over the next few hours as they talked they had confessed their most deeply held secrets. When that magical first kiss had come it was a deep, spiritual connection that surpassed understanding. Nothing about it had been sexual and Tommy had happily drifted to sleep knowing that in Barbara he had found his future and his salvation.

He picked up the empty bottle and swayed out to the kitchen. He lined it up with the others from this week then stared at the proof that he had a problematic relationship with alcohol as well as Barbara. He glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight. Barbara should be home and was probably asleep but he needed some answers. He quickly typed a message and pressed 'send'.

Her phone buzzed and lit up. Barbara frowned then picked it up.

 _Know itts late. Can we ralk? Calk me if youte awke._

She hesitated a minute while she thought through her options. She could ignore it until the morning and feign ignorance. It was plausible but for Tommy to text her at this time when he was clearly unable to see what he was typing and probably drunk meant that he needed her. She knew he hated her knowing he was drinking too much. He would not call unless something was wrong. She dialled his number, dreading the conversation.

"Barbara?"

"Yes Sir, you texted me. Are you okay?"

"No."

She waited for him to go on. When he did not expand she prompted him. "What happened?"

"I drank too much." She heard him pause so waited. "Will you come over?"

"It's after midnight. I don't think it's a good idea Sir."

"Why did you leave me? How, after that night? I thought you understood..."

There was a slight slur to his voice but the pain was clear. Tears well up in her eyes knowing she had caused it. "I haven't left you Tommy."

When she had first called him by name during their night together she had pushed his hair out of his eye and given him a shy, cheeky grin. He groaned at the memory of her fingers slowly tracing their path across his forehead. "Well you're not here! You're not beside me where you should be. Where I thought you wanted to be." He was almost shouting. "You'd rather sleep with my PC and chase dead people!"

Barbara gasped. How could he know what she was doing? She had not told anyone. "At least dead people aren't drunk and obnoxious. Good night Sir." She hung up and switched off her phone.

* * *

Tommy did not come into work the next day. By ten o'clock Barbara was worried and paced the corridor. In the mood he had been in she would not be surprised if he had done something foolish like try to drive to her flat. She did a quick scan of all reported accidents and was relieved to find he was not listed. She had no choice but to go to his house. "Winston, I'm on my mobile if you need me. Not sure what time I'll be back."

Barbara caught a cab to his house. She rang the bell then waited. She rang it again when he did not appear. She tried his mobile but it was turned off and went straight to voicemail. In desperation she rang his home number. She heard the phones inside the house ring.

"Lynley."

He sounded dreadful but he was alive. "It's me. I came over to see how you are."

"Hungover, depressed, remorseful, self-pitying, angry, confused and in need of another drink. Does that cover it?"

"Come down and let me in."

"Oh, now you want to acknowledge me! Not when I invited you to dinner. Not when I wanted to lavish you with flowers and love. No, not when I was deliriously happy. No, you want to see me wretched. Well I don't want to see you Havers. I loved you Barbara. I wanted to build our futures together and you shut me out."

"Please Sir, let me in."

"Too late."

"Can we at least have this discussion face to face?"

The phone went dead. Barbara assumed he had hung up and would ignore her but she heard him coming unsteadily down the stairs. The door opened and he stood in his doorway, unshaven and wearing his Aladdin pants. He puffed himself up as if he was preparing for a final harangue. Despite the situation she grinned at him. He took a deep breath then stood back to let her pass.

He slammed the door behind them. "Will you join me for a drink?" he asked as he led her into his lounge room.

"No and I wish you'd stop too."

"I haven't even started today."

Despite his threat he sat on his sofa and gestured for her to sit in the chair. She scrutinised him. He was drawn and pale. Stubble covered his chin and he smelt strongly of whiskey.

"Why Barbara?"

"Why what?"

"When I left you that day I thought it was the start of us, not the end. You ran. I want to know why."

She could not look at him. "I didn't run. I just started thinking about what we'd said and realised I can never be enough for you."

Tommy snorted and groaned simultaneously. "Why in heaven's name not? I don't want more, or less, I just want you!"

"But you will, eventually."

"So instead of even trying to build a future you decided to bury yourself in the past. Well I hope your ancestors keep you warm at night. Can they make love to you like I did?"

"We never made love! And how do know about what I've been doing?" she asked angrily.

"Oh Barbara. Oh course we made love! Do you really think love is only about sex? We talked about things that we'd never shared with anyone. We gave our secrets and our souls to each other. We held each other through our pain and our hands soothed away our fears. That's love Barbara. Sex is easy. Love is much harder. One day I want to make love to you physically too and you'll understand how much better it is because when we touch each other the honesty of that night will echo though our fingers and lips. And how did I know? I followed you."


	4. Chapter 4

Barbara sat speechless and just stared at him. Denying she loved him was futile. He had distilled the wonder of the night beautifully. They had made love, she had felt that. The knowledge made her feel warm and content but his confession to following her was another matter entirely. It might have been flattering if she did not know it was about his ego and loss more than her welfare. "You followed me?"

"Yes, last night. To the Society. Not something I'm particularly proud of but I had to know what had come between us after that night. Your rejection hurt me Barbara, more than you will ever understand."

"Oh, I understand hurt and rejection! I understand only too well what it's like loving someone and doing everything you can for them only to have them throw it in your face!"

"I've never thrown it in your face. You know I've appreciated you picking up after my foolishness."

"Yeah, it shows."

"At least I never ran away. I would have preferred a live rival, at least I could fight someone real."

"Oh yes, you have! Too many times to count! And you'd enjoy that wouldn't you? Making a scene and trying to claim back what you think is your property!"

Tommy ignored her raised voice. "Don't be ridiculous. I don't view you as my property Barbara."

Barbara arched her eyebrow and glared fiercely at him. "Don't you? How many times have you referred to me as _my_ sergeant, _my_ partner, _my_ goodness knows what else?"

"That's different and you know it."

"How? You've always been possessive of me, almost since the day we were first partnered together."

"Yes, because we had something special even then. You're hardly immune. You were the one that tried to protect me by telling Nies you slept with me. That was pretty possessive."

Barbara looked away. That had been the first moment she had realised that even though she did not always like Tommy, she felt a connection and would do anything to protect him. That had only deepened into love over time. "Why didn't you just ask me where I was going?" she asked softly, all her anger evaporated.

Tommy understood their fight was over. "Would you have told me?"

Barbara thought about that seriously before answering. "Yes, but I wouldn't have explained why," she replied honestly.

"So will you explain why now?"

She nodded. After his drunken eloquence about love she owed him that much. "That night, you talked about having children."

Now Tommy nodded. "You'd make a wonderful mother Barbara and I'd love us to create children together but it's not a deal-breaker if you don't want them. I don't need an heir if that's what is scaring you. Peter and his children can take the damned title."

"No, I want children! Well, I would like them if they happened." Tommy's affectionate smile melted her heart. "After you left I was sitting thinking about that. You'd told me all about your family. You know their history. I imagined our children sitting listening to you tell them about their gallant ancestors..."

"How many did we have?" he asked in a mischievously sentimental tone.

"Four, two of each."

Tommy gave her one of his loving grins. "I love our family already."

She sighed heavily and tried not to smile. "I imagined them listening to you and being proud then they'd turn to me and all I'd be able to tell them was about a demented grandmother who withdrew from reality, a sad old man who renounced life and an uncle who died before he really had a chance to live."

Tommy leant forward and took her hand. "You don't need an impressive lineage Barbara. You would love our children fiercely, that's what would be important to them…and to me."

"You don't understand. You know who you come from. You know their strengths and their faults and their idiosyncrasies. I know nothing. I know my lot won't be lords but I want to at least be able to say they existed. I want to know something about them even if they were the worst of thieves or total losers."

"If they were thieves you'd have an Australian accent." Tommy laughed and Barbara smiled. "I'm sure they were decent folk Barbara, like you."

Barbara laughed softly. "The worst criminals were hanged here by the way but you're missing the point."

Tommy tugged at her hand hinting that she should join him on the couch. She acquiesced and he instantly put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him, almost desperately. "No, I do understand but it's not a reason to step back from us. I'm a good detective, I can help you. If it's important to you then it's important to me."

"Oh Tommy!" Barbara let out a muffled cry and buried her face into his side. He certainly knew the right things to say.

For the first time in weeks Tommy felt positive. He knew they would not turn back from here. He could feel it in the way she was holding him. "You have no idea how much I love you Barbara."

"I have to ring Winston, let him know I won't be back today."

"No, go back to work and make my excuse. Food poisoning perhaps? It's Friday. We're not on duty this weekend. Come back tonight with your computer. I'll be showered and shaved and completely sober. We can have dinner then you can tell me what you know about your family." Barbara nodded and Tommy kissed her softly on her cheek.

* * *

She arrived a little after seven o'clock and fluked a parking spot directly in front of his house. True to his word Tommy was spruced up and quite sober. Three litres of water, six Nurofen and four large cups of coffee had helped. She smiled shyly as she held up two boxes of takeaway. "I hope you feel like Indian. I didn't think you would want to go the pub."

"Perfect." Tommy took the bags and ushered her inside. He wanted to give her a loving kiss but he was determined to be a good boy and not try to rush her into his bed. He wanted to make amends by genuinely helping her with her search.

As they ate Barbara showed him what she had discovered. "They're mainly names and dates but it seems my father's side came from around Teyfield in Berkshire and my mother's from near Chitterton in Cambridgeshire. I was surprised to learn my grandparents were the first generation to settle in London. I had assumed we'd been here forever."

Tommy sopped up the last of his curry with his naan bread. "We should go."

"Where?"

"Teyfield. Let's take my camera and drive up there tomorrow and take a look. We might find a historical society or the local library we can visit but at the very least we could get a feel for the village. We should check the phone book and see if there are any Havers still living around there."

"What and pop in saying 'Hiya, I'm Barbara Havers are we related?"

"Not quite but might be fun. Next week we could go to Cambridgeshire."

"Well, it would be interesting. Let's see if we can find out a bit more first before we go traipsing off to Berkshire."

"It's only an hour or so Barbara, not the end of the Earth."

"Like Cornwall."

"Yes, exactly. Now who came from there?"

Three hours later Barbara yawned then closed the lid of her PC. "Thank you Tommy."

"For what? I merely made some suggestions and helped look up a few references."

"For taking it seriously. For helping me."

He grinned at her and she could not help but grin back. "But it's for our children," he proclaimed innocently as he draped his arm over her shoulder. They had had such a good evening working together he did not want her to leave, ever, but he tried to sound casual "Speaking of which…will you stay with me?"

Barbara hesitated. She wanted to stay but she knew another night in his arms would not end as innocently as the last and she was not ready to reward his behaviour by giving in so easily. "I'm sorry Tommy, not tonight. I forgive you for spying on me but I'm not ready to...stay."

Tommy did his best not to look disappointed. "That's fine Barbara. I understand but you're not saying never are you?"

She sighed, "no, just not yet."

He nodded. "Will eight o'clock be too early?"

* * *

He arrived promptly, eager to make the day a success. He wanted her to find out about her ancestors but he also hoped to re-establish her trust in him. "Ready? I had a look at the village again last night. The church rector lives next door so hopefully he will be home and we can look at the burial records."

As he drove Barbara watched him. He looked different but she struggled to work out how. Then he looked across and smiled and she realised, for the first time in years his face was not contorted by the weight of life. He looked hopeful. He glanced over and she smiled lovingly at him.

"What's on that mind of yours Ms Havers?" he asked with mock suspicion.

"Nothing sinister, Mr Lynley."

"Hmm, in that case I suppose I should cancel my booking for the Teyfield Arms?"

"You..." She saw the cheeky grin on his face and relaxed. "Haha. Not among the ancestors thank you."

"They're hardly going to be looking."

"I'm not giving them the chance."

* * *

The village was not the quaint few buildings of Barbara's imagination. Several streets of post-war red brick houses sat around the old centre. Half a dozen Tudor buildings with white-washed walls and thick exposed beams lined the main street. "Oh how cute!" Barbara exclaimed as she looked at the uneven thatching and the tiny croos-pane windows.

"It's quite picturesque," Lynley agreed as he tried to remember where the church was located. He spotted the small spire on a rise behind the pub.

"It's all over-grown!" Barbara spotted the graveyard as Tommy turned the corner. Knee-high vines and bracken grew around the tilting, moss covered headstones.

"Don't be disappointed Barbara. They might be in the neat section over there." He pointed to a section of grass dotted with a few markers as he parked under an old oak tree that draped over the black, cast iron railings of the fence.

The church was open. Barbara glanced nervously at Tommy. He took his camera from it's pouch as a sign of optimism. He locked the car and smiled as he took her hand. "Come on then, let's meet your ancestors."

As the walked through the rickety timber lychgate they heard singing. "Choir practice?" Tommy suggested, "that could be handy."

They entered the church cautiously. The choir was in the the small quire at the head of the nave. A large fierce woman with greying, curly blonde hair was conducting Jerusalem with great vigour. She heard their footsteps, cut the choir with a viscous swish of her baton, and turned to glare at the intruders. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Tommy squeezed Barbara's hand then flashed his most suave, disarming smile at the angry woman. He noticed the dog-collar as soon as she turned. "We didn't mean to interrupt your choir Reverend, my partner's family lived here for several generations and we..."

"Thought it would be nice to be married in this church!" the woman said self-importantly.

"Well not exactly," Tommy replied.

The woman snorted impatiently. "Well if you care to sit quietly through Jerusalem and How Great Thou Art I'll speak to you in ten minutes."

"Your charm worked wonders," Barbara muttered as they sat.

"Imagine what reception we would have had if you spoke," he retorted with a smile.

"I said qui-et-ly!"

Guiltily they sat and listened intently to the choir, which Tommy thought was surprisingly good. He looked around the plaques and stained glass windows for any reference to Havers. He spotted a marble tablet that had the name on it and several words too small to read. He nudged Barbara with his elbow and pointed to it with a nod of his head. Her excited smile lit up the church. He leant over and whispered, "we should be married here...very soon."


	5. Chapter 5

"Quiet! I won't warn you again!" The vicar gave Tommy such a withering stare that he actually bowed to her.

Barbara began to snicker then had to run out of the church. Tommy nodded to the minister then followed. Outside they looked at each other and dissolved into laughter. Barbara had her hands on her knees as she tried to regain her composure. Watching her, Tommy felt a wave of love break over him. He stopped laughing and moved over to her. When she looked up he enveloped her in his arms. "I love you and I meant it, Barbara. We should be married."

"That sounds like another of your decisions. You haven't asked my opinion."

"No, but I will when the time is right. I know you'd say no right now but I think in time I can persuade you."

Tommy leant down and kissed her gently. Barbara knew she had no more excuses to avoid her true feelings. As her arms encircled him she returned his kiss.

"Maybe you two should get a room rather than turn my churchyard into a lovers' lane," the vicar said sternly. Behind her, the village choristers tried to sneak away and avoid being caught in the vicar's sights.

Barbara tried to spring away but Tommy held her firmly. "I always thought love was the basis of the church," he replied archly. He let Barbara go and extended his hand towards the dour minister. "Lord Asherton and this is Barbara Havers. We have come to see if we can discover more about her family. We believe she has several ancestors buried in the graveyard."

"Lord Asherton?" the minster repeated then gave a fawning smile as she shook his hand. "I'm sorry we seemed to get off on the wrong foot. Our choir is practicing for the British championships and I'm worried they're not quite ready."

"You do yourself an injustice Reverend. You have coached them well, they are excellent." Tommy gave her his best Eton smile. It usually annoyed Barbara but today she enjoyed the way he was bringing the woman under his spell.

"Thank you m'lord."

"Tommy, you should call me Tommy. Reverend?"

"Oh, Reverend Baker, Alice Baker."

"Well, Reverend Baker, perhaps we could start with that memorial I noticed on the wall inside?"

The vicar led them back to the plaque. "This was originally dedicated to the memory of Margaret Havers by her son William but later included William, his wife Beatrice and their sons Matthew and James. William owned most of Teyfield. His father John had been the overseer, or agent, for the estate of Lord Thistlethwaite. The earldom covered several thousand acres back in the 1700s but the last earl was a gambler and womaniser. He lost his family's fortune and had to break up the estate. The legend says that John won a large parcel of land from him in a card game but the rumour was that it was gifted to him after John helped conceal that Thistlethwaite had accidentally killed a woman during a rough sexual romp."

The reverend paused. Tommy knew she was hoping to elicit shock so he quickly frowned at Barbara. "These things sometimes happen," he replied as if every lord occasionally killed people during sex. Barbara took Tommy's hand and gave an acknowledging squeeze. He looked down and gave her a loving smile. "What else do you know Alice? May I call you Alice?"

"Of course Tommy." The minister went on to outline what she knew of the family. "We still have one Havers in town. He sings beautifully but says he's too old to be in my choir. He's a bit of a curmudgeon really. Marcus Havers, he lives out on the old estate. They had to sell most of it over time but he kept the house. Anyway, I'll go and fetch the graveyard map."

The minister strode towards the offices at the side of the church. "May I call you Alice?" Barbara mocked, "you can't help yourself can you?"

"A little charm goes a long way. Look at the information we've learned. Wasn't Matthew you're great-great-grandfather?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"So William and John take the line further back. And it seems they had land."

"Don't sound so smug. Sounds like he got it helping some earl who couldn't keep it in his trousers."

Tommy laughed softly. "Are you implying it's genetic?"

"What is?"

"Havers helping earls."

Barbara smiled. "Womanising earls who can't keep their trousers on? Yeah, definitely."

"I can't speak for Thistlethwaite but this earl is faithful. I promise you that I'll never be with another woman, or look at one sideways ever again."

"There's one more you need to sleep with..."

Tommy gave her a smile that said everything. It was loving, lustful, and full of humour, hope, and future. "I've already slept with you. I have something else in mind for when you next grace my bed. Tonight perhaps?"

"Perhaps...but don't count on it."

The vicar returned with a large roll. The material was a thick cloth and when she unrolled it they could see names inked into plots on a map of the graveyard. "Most of the Havers will be in the old section I think," the reverend said.

"Under all the vines?" Barbara was disappointed.

"I'm afraid so. It's church policy now to let old graveyards return to nature. The upkeep is too expensive."

They studied the map. Tommy made a few notes and took some photographs. He decided he would send the vicar a cheque for five hundred pounds for the clean-up and upkeep and they could come back once it was finished. He looked over and knew instantly that Barbara wanted to search now. He smiled. "Let's see if we can find any of your family then."

"I have to close the church and run some errands for the parish but if you are still in town at two o'clock, come back here and I will take you to meet Marcus."

Tommy shook her hand and Barbara followed his lead. She thanked the vicar but allowed Tommy to continue smooth-talking her. "You had her eating out of your hand m'lord," she teased as they ventured into the graveyard jungle.

"Anything to get more help for m'lady." Tommy had been holding her hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it.

"I'm not m'lady."

"Yet."

For twenty minutes they searched amongst the brambles and vines for Havers' graves. "It's no use Tommy, it's too overgrown."

"We are close; I can feel it. Don't give up."

Barbara brushed back against a headstone of a Milligan. "Why can't they bury them alphabetically?"

"Because people don't die alphabetically, or chronologically Barbara."

Barbara turned and looked to the sky. "Well family, if you want me to find you, give me a sign!"

Tommy looked over the rim of imaginary glasses to give him gravitas. "Seriously? You think that will work?"

Barbara was about to reply when she tripped on a vine and fell. Tommy rushed over and knelt down beside her. When her curses subsided he asked, "are you all ri…oh my giddy aunt!"

"What?"

Tommy pointed over her shoulder. She turned around and saw the word HAVERS emblazoned on the base of a marble statue. "Well, I'll be! We would never have seen this standing." She looked at the sky then Tommy. He shrugged, agreeing it was indeed a little spooky.

Tommy helped her to her feet and pressed down a path for her. They paused at the grave. Barbara looked around quickly. As much as she wanted to see the grave, she was losing her internal fight. He was being so caring and adorable that she was tempted to take him up on his earlier offer of a room in the pub. She put her arm around him. "Tommy…"

She allowed him to think the kiss was his idea but she knew the lecherous look she had given him sparked it. He was not the only one who could wind people around their little fingers.

"Why are you smiling while I'm trying to kiss you?" he mumbled against her lips.

"Because I love you." Tommy groaned his approval and them gave her the deepest, most loving kiss of his life.

"We'd better stop…" she sighed as they returned to the present, "the ancestors…"

"Would understand." Tommy looked at the carved angel on top of the monument. "I love her, more than life itself, and it seems she loves me!"

"Tommy, you're talking to a statue."

"No, I'm letting your family know my intentions." He knelt down. "Barbara, this is unusual but I don't think there will be a more appropriate moment. Now that we know about your family origins, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Barbara closed her eyes. This would make a great story for her grandchildren! She nodded. "Yes, of course I will."

By two o'clock they had taken photographs and transcribed all the details from the monument and also managed a quick pie and pint at the Moreton Arms. Tommy had been relieved to learn they did not have rooms as he feared the temptation might have been too great. He wanted her to know it was not just about sex, but it was an aspect of the relationship he was very eager to explore.

Reverend Baker was waiting by the door. "Did you find their graves?" she asked.

"Yes, we did, thank you," Barbara replied.

"So how long have you two been engaged?"

"It's only very recent," Tommy replied diplomatically as they followed her down the road. He winked conspiratorially at his fiancée.

"You look happy. Now I'm warning you, Marcus can be a tricky customer. He can be very, shall we say, brusque."

"A family trait," Tommy quipped.

A first Marcus did not want to let them in and then he saw Barbara. "You have her eyes."

"Whose eyes?" Tommy asked.

"My mother's!"

Marcus invited them in and seemed entranced by Barbara, who glanced nervously at Tommy. "You're George's girl?"

Barbara swallowed. "Yes. You knew my father?"

"He was my nephew." With that, the entire family history began to emerge. Barbara listened carefully and Tommy scrawled down notes in the notebook he had brought.

* * *

They discussed the family throughout the entire drive home. "Where do you fancy having dinner?" Tommy asked as they drove past Hammersmith.

Barbara smiled wickedly. "Is there something we can eat in bed?"

Tommy nearly ran up the back of a Toyota that had slowed for a pedestrian. "I think the pub might be safer if we want to have food."

* * *

Their Sunday started later than planned. Neither of them wanted to hurry out of bed. Tommy had been true to his original promise to her; he had made love to her very slowly and gently and she had responded with tenderness and passion. He could go on loving her like this for days without stop.

"Brunch?"

"We don't have to get up Tommy." Barbara stretched then snuggled against him. Her hand wandered languorously over his stomach.

"Mmm, yes we do," he said moving her hand away. "A man needs recovery time, I'm not twenty anymore, more's the pity. Come on, up you get. I promise we'll come straight back here."

He gave her a quick kiss which morphed quickly into a deep, passionate kiss. "Seems I'm younger than I thought," he said as he pulled her under the covers.


End file.
